


I Won't Lose You

by SublimeSenorita



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Battle of Scarif, Rebelcaptainmay4, therebelcaptainnetwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 08:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14541054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SublimeSenorita/pseuds/SublimeSenorita
Summary: After a routine mission goes terribly wrong Cassian is confronted with the possibility of losing Jyn.





	I Won't Lose You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marcasite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcasite/gifts).



> I wrote this for marcasite as part of The RebelCaptain Network: May the 4th Exchange based on the prompt: She wants to feel the burn of his gaze but refuses to pull her hand away even as he stares everywhere but at her (they do not have to use the sentence at all, maybe its simply inspiration?). 
> 
> I hope you like it! May the 4th be with you!

How could she have been so reckless?

It was a question that replayed in Cassian’s mind over and over again, his throat dry and his heart aching as he impatiently paced the hallway that lay outside the examination room where Sergeant Jyn Erso continued to receive treatment. “She could have been killed,” his reprogrammed Imperial droid K-2SO pointed out, clearly stating the obvious.

Cassian huffed, running his fingers through his hair and shooting a murderous glare towards the droid. Though Kay had proven himself to be an invaluable ally throughout the course of their friendship, there were times when Cassian wished that he would learn when to keep his mouth shut. “Kay,” Cassian growled, rubbing at his red-rimmed eyes. “Have you ever heard the phrase _silence is golden?"_ He hissed, his shoulders tense as he continued to pace around the waiting room for what had to have been the hundredth time.

“I have,” the droid replied, though the question was rhetorical. “I just don’t understand why they won’t allow us to see her,” the droid said flatly, his commentary doing nothing except further agitate the already upset Captain.

“Because we’re not family,” he replied forlornly, a lump forming in his throat.

“But neither of you has any family to speak of,” the droid continued. “You two also share living quarters, train, and embark on missions together. What differentiates you from any other married couple? A piece of paper?”

“Kay!” Cassian warned, his tone dark and dangerous. “Shut up! It’s been two days,” he agonized, having not left the medical bay since her admission.

“It’s been fifty-six hours and eleven minutes,” Kay reported, ignoring Cassian’s objections. “I had hoped that we would receive some news by now. The probability of Jyn not surviving her injuries are-”

“I don’t want to know,” Cassian nearly sobbed, his heart clenching at the possibilities.

He couldn’t believe this.

He was going to lose her.

No.

He was not going to lose her.

Losing her was simply not an option.

Slumping down into a chair, Cassian held his head in his hands, praying that Jyn would somehow pull through.

* * *

Jyn released a yawn as she entered the waiting room, thankful that she had been given the opportunity to change into a fresh set of clothes before being released. Jyn often teased Cassian for his tendency to overprepare for their missions. He always ensured that she had a first aid kit, knives, blasters, and an extra set of clothes tucked neatly away in her bag. He had even been kind enough to pack her favorite pair of sweatpants and one of his tee shirts, as he knew how much she loved sleeping in them. As tiresome as his over preparedness could be, Jyn was tremendously grateful to have something to wear other than the rather uncomfortable hospital gown.

“Cassian,” she greeted, still a bit groggy from the pain medication. The medics had informed her that she had sustained a blaster wound to the shoulder and had suffered a minor concussion. She would need to take it easy for a period of time, but they were confident she would make a full recovery.

“Jyn,” Cassian gasped, rising to his feet, the color having drained from his face. Kay and Cassian had been waiting for two days for any news regarding her condition while fearing the worst; and now here she was. Standing right before them. Before either of them had a chance to say anything else, Cassian closed the gap that existed between them, and enveloped his arms around her in a very tight hug.

“I heard that you were a little worried,” she said softly, burying her face into his shoulder as he held her close. The medics having had informed her of Cassian’s distress and Jyn didn’t doubt that he had driven himself crazy worrying about her.

“A little worried?” Cassian questioned incredulously. Even Kay had enough insight to know that ‘a little worried’ was a massive understatement. “Oh Jyn,” his voice broke. He had been holding so much in for so long and he couldn’t stay strong anymore. “I was so scared,” he admitted, his vision clouded by unshed tears.

“Shh,” she whispered soothingly, her lips pressing a reassuring kiss to his cheek. “I’m alright,” she promised, her fingers gently stroking his soft brown hair.

“Jyn, why didn’t you wait for my order?” He asked, recalling the panic that had coursed through his veins upon realizing that Jyn had taken matters into her own hands. “I was trying to form a plan,” he explained, upset that she had acted rashly.

“I knew that they were trying to ambush us,” she explained, detecting the emotion in his voice. “I didn’t want you to get hurt,” she could live with few lacerations and broken bones, but she knew that she would never recover if she were to lose Cassian. “I’m sorry,” she said, guilt beginning to take hold.

“Jyn, if I had lost you,” he let his voice trail off. He had almost lost her on Scaif and he thanked the Force every single day for protecting her from certain death. He couldn’t imagine having to live life without her. Nor did he ever want to. “I love you Jyn,” he sobbed, unable to hold his tears back any longer. Cassian did not consider himself to be much of a crier, but Jyn had a way of bringing out a certain vulnerability in him. “T-That’s why I got s-so scared,” he wept, holding her firmly in his arms. Just as he had back on Scarif.

“I love you too Cassian,” she replied, unable to bring herself to look at the agony that existed behind Cassian’s tired eyes. “That’s why I went in there alone,” she would have never forgiven herself if she had lost Cassian in that fight.

Cassian wanted to argue with her. He wanted to tell her that his life was not more valuable than hers and that he would never be able to live without her. But he bit his tongue. He didn’t have the strength to argue and she had been through enough for one day. “Just let me take care of you right now,” he insisted, gently scooping her up in his arms and cradling her close to his chest. Instead of protesting and insisting on walking back to their quarters on her own, Jyn decided to let him carry her.

“If you insist,” she agreed, resting her tiny hand alongside his face before bringing him in for a kiss. “But just this once,” though she knew it was useless.

Jyn would never be able to convince Cassian that it wasn’t his job to protect her.

Cassian would never be able to convince Jyn that it wasn’t her job to protect him.

And that was never going to change.


End file.
